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Psychologist Dr. Melissa Gluck shares a 90-second technique to relieve stress you can do every day or whenever you feel overwhelmed.
From headlines about climate change, war, and microplastics, to the everyday moments when life doesn’t go exactly as we plan or the fear of an uncertain future, sometimes it can feel like there’s a lot to be stressed about. You want to live a happy and fulfilled life, but how can you do that when your everyday environment is plagued by that one dreaded word, stress?
First, we’ll give you the good news. “You are not your emotions.” It’s a statement you’ve likely heard countless times and one that Dr. Melissa Gluck, Licensed Psychologist and Founder of Gluck Psychology Collective, reiterates when discussing stress. Just because you experience a stressful situation doesn’t mean you have to be a stressed person. The moment and the emotion will pass. Now, the bad news. According to Dr. Gluck, “Stress, unfortunately, isn’t something we can eliminate. It’s something we learn to move through with more intention, more support, and a little more self-trust.”
So, how can we manage everyday stressors? Thankfully, psychologists and researchers like Dr. Gluck have developed tools we can practice wherever and whenever a stressful situation arises. One popular technique to relieve stress is the 90-second reset. As the name suggests, all it takes is 90 seconds of your time to help the stressful moment pass.
According to Dr. Gluck, some signs you could use this technique are when you feel flashes of anxiety, anger, or even overwhelm. As a psychologist who specializes in helping Gen Z and millennials navigate life transitions or daily fires, she recommends learning daily habits and techniques to relieve stress rather than “fixing” it. Ahead, she breaks down what the 90-second reset is, why it works, and her recommendations for living a more fulfilled, happy life… even with stress.
What is the 90-second reset?
The 90-second reset is a simple, science-informed way to move through an emotional spike without getting stuck in it. The idea is that when an emotion is triggered, there is a surge of neurochemicals in the body that typically lasts about 60 to 90 seconds. If we can stay present with the feeling, without feeding it with additional thoughts, loops, ruminations, or stories, the intensity of the feeling will naturally begin to pass.
In practice, it’s less about forcing yourself to calm down and more about giving your nervous system a moment to process what just happened, without jumping in to assign meaning and accidentally fueling the spiral.
What are the benefits?
The biggest benefit is that it creates space between a feeling and a reaction. That space is everything. Instead of spiraling, snapping at someone, or shutting down entirely, you’re able to pause, regulate, and respond more intentionally. Over time, this builds emotional resilience, improves communication, and helps people feel more in control of their inner world.
Why does this work?
Neuroscience shows that the chemical surge of an emotion is actually pretty brief. The “90 seconds” isn’t a perfect number, but it points to something important: emotions move through us. What keeps us stuck isn’t the feeling; it’s the story our brain starts building around it.
It works because emotions start in the body, not the mind. When something triggers you, your nervous system reacts immediately and your physiology changes– your heart rate increases, your muscles tense, your breathing shifts. What keeps the emotion going isn’t the feeling itself. It’s what we do next.
Both fortunately and unfortunately, humans are meaning-making creatures. We don’t just feel something and let it pass. We analyze it, replay it, judge it, and try to make sense of it. That process is what extends the emotional experience and can turn a brief reaction into a full spiral. In the wild, if an animal escapes a threat, its body eventually returns to baseline. It doesn’t sit there ruminating about what happened. We do, and that’s part of why emotional experiences, and especially trauma, can linger.
The 90-second reset works by interrupting that cycle. Instead of immediately adding meaning, you give your body a moment to process the initial surge. You let the feeling move through without fueling it with additional thoughts. When you do that, the emotion is much more likely to pass on its own.
Does the 90-second reset work for all emotions?
This works best for those in-the-moment emotional spikes. Anxiety, frustration, overwhelm, anger. The moments where you can feel your body ramping up. For something more persistent like depression, it’s not a cure, but it can still be a useful tool as part of your bigger emotional support toolkit. It should be thought of as a way to regulate, not to fix.
Can you walk us through how to do the 90-second reset?
Keep it simple. The more complicated you make it, the more likely you are to get in your head and accidentally start another loop.
First: notice the moment you’re activated. That awareness is key.
Second: Pause. Literally stop what you’re doing, even for a few seconds.
Third: Bring your attention to your body. Focus on your breath, your feet on the ground, or your hands. Something physical and present.
Fourth: Name what you’re feeling. Even something simple like “this is anxiety” or “I feel overwhelmed.” Labeling it helps create a little space between you and the emotion.
Emotions are temporary. You are not your emotions. Lastly, stay with it. Let the sensation rise and fall without trying to fix it, analyze it, or push it away. Your goal should not be to try to make the feeling disappear. You’re simply allowing it to move through you.
How often should we practice this?
As often as you need it. This is not something you schedule once a day. It is a tool you use in real time. In the middle of a stressful email, a difficult conversation, or a moment where you feel yourself starting to spiral. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes.
Do you do this in your everyday life?
I absolutely do. Not in a rigid or performative way, but in small moments throughout the day. Before responding to something that triggers me, when I feel overwhelmed, or when I notice my mind starting to race. It is one of those tools that quietly changes how you move through your day.
What other self-care tips do you have for managing stress?
I always encourage people to think about stress management less as something to “fix” and more as something you support through small, consistent habits. A few that I come back to often and love recommending to clients:
–Move your body in ways that feel doable, not extreme. Even a short walk can help shift your nervous system and give your mind a little breathing room.
–Build in small moments to “pause” throughout your day instead of waiting until you’re completely burnt out. That might look like stepping away from your screen for two extra minutes or hiding out in the bathroom for a quick reset. It counts.
–Pay attention to what you’re taking in throughout the day. The conversations you’re having, the content you’re scrolling, the energy around you. It all adds up more than we think.
–Lean on your support system. When we feel anxious or overwhelmed, our instinct is often to shut down or go inward. Even sending a simple text like “I’m feeling anxious, I just wanted someone to know” can help you feel a little less alone in it.
–Try a “brain dump” journaling practice. Get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper (or the notes app in your phone). It doesn’t need to be organized or make sense. The goal is to get a little distance from your thoughts that are taking over.
Stress, unfortunately, isn’t something we can eliminate. It’s something we learn to move through with more intention, more support, and a little more self-trust.
