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Chatting with certified sex and dating coach Myisha Battle in this Q&A.
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With Valentine’s Day, there’s no better time to think about how to make the world a better and sexier place. Previous V-Day articles have seen Matthew Woodward offer a few suggestions about how to have a sustainable stay-at-home V-Day, and over on Instagram via IGTV, Tiffany Brown, founder of Bathe Brand, offered her tips on self-care, in a natural and sustainable way, of course!
Adding to the V-Day conversation, certified sex and dating coach Myisha Battle has offered her advice through a Q&A about sexual wellness. According to Myisha, good sex (and a healthy relationship) needs good ole’ fashioned talks for both parties involved to share their likes and dislikes when it comes to fulfilling intimate desires. Vulnerability should be front and center, and shame put on the back burner. She also shares how viewpoints have changed to be more positive about conversations about sexual wellness and how lubricants use natural ingredients these days.
With a holistic and respectful approach to sex, Myisha shares how we can all add a little more sexual wellness to our lives. And, if you’re craving more, listen to her podcast, Down for Whatever.
What conversations should we have with our partner(s) about sexual wellness?
How can we maintain healthy relationships during these times?
Sexual dynamics for most couples have shifted a lot during COVID. In my blog post, Keeping Relationships Healthy in Unhealthy Times, I recommend putting practices in place to create routines, rituals, date nights and separation times. We need routines to give us a sense of normalcy, but we also need space (however that can be achieved these days) to process, feel our feelings and have separate experiences. The age-old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” really is true so we all have to work to figure out how to have our own lives and keep that spark alive in such close quarters.
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How can we initiate bringing sex toys into the bedroom?
Sex toys are a great way to bring novelty into your sex life. Whether you use a toy solo and want to bring it into partnered sex, or have specific toys you want to use with a partner, it can be a fun way to mix things up. I always recommend framing this as something you’re really excited to try and that you want to know your partner’s thoughts. Maybe the toy you want to use isn’t their first choice, but they have other ideas! It can spark a good conversation about what you both want from the experience.
What sex toys are ideal for partners? Which ones are better for solo intimacy?
Any sex toy can be good for solo or partnered sex. There are certainly toys that are designed for couples, but in my opinion, you can bring just about any toy into a sexual experience with someone else. Some questions to ask yourself are: what type of stimulation do you want? What scene do you want to create? How active do you want to be in the use of the toy versus having your partner use the toy on you or on themselves while you watch? The answers to these questions will guide you toward sex toys to meet your needs.
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When it comes to lubes are some ingredients cleaner or greener than others?
There have been so many advancements in lubricants and a good deal of that has to do with a shift to greener ingredients! I have clients who hated lube because they had been using the old, sticky, smelly kinds you can find at most drug stores. When I tell them about more natural options, they are shocked at the difference. My top recommendations are Good Clean Love, Sustain Natural, and for a little extra oomph, Foria’s THC & CBD lubes.
