As addictions become more prevalent, it’s important to find compassion and healthy human connections. Dr. Emily Hu and Benjamin Dobbs, founder of TRUE Addiction, share their insights about compassion and addiction counseling.
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With an estimated 46.8 million Americans over the age of 12 battling a substance abuse disorder, you may think of addiction as something regulated to alcohol or controlled substances. Yet, there are a range of activities and behaviors – shopping, gambling, and engaging in adult content – that can become problematic due to addictive behavior. In both instances, genetics play a role accounting for 40- 60% of a person’s risk. As addictive behaviors become more prevalent (according to experts), it’s important to remember that our genetics are out of our control and that compassion is an essential part of addiction counseling for addicts and the 3rd parties impacted.
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Compassion is at the heart of living wages, labor rights, and how we choose to relate to one another. It’s at the root of our understanding that we all have struggles in life and our commitment to advocating for those who need a helping hand. Whether or not you are an addict, addiction has probably impacted your life, from the city you choose to call home to a friend or family member struggling to overcome it. However, it has shown up in your life we have to remember to show compassion.
As Dr. Emily Hu, Clinical Psychologist at Thrive Psychology Group explains, “If people turn to addiction because it’s a form of bonding, then the solution should be to approach them and offer them more positive, healthy bonds.” She shares her insights along with Benjamin Dobbs, the founder of TRUE Addiction & Behavioral Health, about addiction, conscious engagement, and compassion.
What is addiction?
EH: Addiction is a biopsychosocial pattern of behavior that illustrates a problematic relationship with an external stimulus. The “bio” part: Brain scans have shown that engaging in an addictive behavior fundamentally changes the brain’s dopamine reward system, both sensitizing synapses as well as increasing neurotransmission. The “psycho” part: repeatedly engaging in an addictive behavior, especially when we know it has negative consequences, is often due to the psychological reinforcement we receive such as a feeling of euphoria (positive reinforcement) or the numbing/taking away of painful emotions (negative reinforcement).
BD: Addiction is a mental health-driven disorder and a habit-forming coping mechanism due to the sensation it produces. Addiction creates a pseudo-reality –a false sense that the person’s struggles have been managed or relieved. In reality, when the euphoria (high) dwindles and the person loses the euphoric sensation, the emotional, mental, physical, and even spiritual pain remains. Addiction is not just driven by negative outputs; even positive emotions and thoughts can still lead to the person seeking a higher elevation of consciousness through substances to regulate and increase the reward receptors of the brain. Overall, addiction is multi-faceted and is caused by a combination of factors ranging from trauma to family dynamics, and social factors.
What types of addiction are there?
EH: Technically someone can become addicted to anything if the behavior/stimulus is associated with a dopamine reward often enough. Anything that makes us feel good, and that we compulsively do despite the fact that it brings negative consequences, could potentially be classified as an addiction.
BD: Drugs and alcohol get the most attention but they’re not the only things that can fuel addiction. Process addictions, such as shopping, gambling, sexual activity, pornography, and eating disorders, are behaviors or activities that can be addictive for some individuals.
Why are some people prone to addiction when others aren’t?
EH: There may be a genetic component, but much of this depends on a person’s social support network as well. Humans are designed to form bonds. If you’re particularly isolated or don’t have very many meaningful relationships, then you will bond with whatever gives you enough of a reward, even if that thing is alcohol, or videogames, or pornography.

BD: The main factors that can predetermine addiction with higher probability factors are family dynamics, toxic relationships, trauma, generational behaviors, living conditions, childhood experiences, environmental surroundings, and lack of resources that induce self-affliction of mental and emotional struggles.
Can we safely engage in activities without addiction?
EH: Yes, as long as we’re thoughtful and intentional (rather than mindless and seeking numbness). Know your boundaries and when to set them. Seek positive social support so that you don’t end up bonding to an unhealthy behavior. And mix it up–don’t make the one potentially addictive behavior the only thing you do from one day to the next. Have multiple interests engaging with multiple people in multiple contexts.
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BD: Although gambling is not recommended even in moderation, it still can be conducted without leading to addiction. When the experience shifts from moderation to a consistent method of seeking the behavior, it can become a habit that can lead to addiction. Same with dieting. Our bodies thrive from healthy foods, so crash diets that suppress nutrients are not safe to engage in, and extreme dieting can lead to disordered eating habits or even eating disorders.
What is the connection between addiction and unresolved trauma?
EH: Trauma is one of those scary things that we will do anything to not confront. Most people try to run away from past trauma, which is understandable since it’s so painful to engage with–but all too often we end up running away into the escapism of addiction, which ultimately creates more problems.
BD: People with unresolved trauma are more likely to be drawn to engage in addiction as a form of a coping mechanism. This is the basis of “self-medicating.” Unresolved trauma invades the mental, emotional, and physical faculties of a person. The body ends up keeping the score by harboring the trauma and develops stress-inducing properties that evolve into negative thoughts, behaviors, and emotional disregulation. This can cause the faculties to become overwhelmed, creating a need for an individual to seek refuge and resolve.
How do kindness and compassion play a role in healing our own addiction and dealing with other’s addiction?
EH: One thing we know for certain from the US’s history of drug policy: judgment and addict-shaming has never improved things, and in fact has made everything worse. The opposite of shame is compassion, which may feel odd and unwieldy at first when trying to connect with and be kind to someone who is addicted, but if people turn to addiction because it’s a form of bonding, then the solution should be to approach them and offer them more positive, healthy bonds.
BD: The opposite of addiction is love and connection, which includes kindness, compassion, and empathy. Addiction leads to self-doubt, lack of self-worth, and lack of self-value. Kindness and compassion can be the catalyst for healing a person’s soul. Knowing you are loved will help govern your self-awareness and self-values. Self-love is a big attribute for healing and restoration to any person fighting addiction.